Driving anywhere with kids.

This is every journey I go on with my two little cherubs. Regardless of length of journey, this will continue until we reach our destination, however far away it might be!

I’m going to do each child’s sentences in their favourite colours to make it easier for you to distinguish who is talking. Pink is 4yo daughter, (unsurprising really!), and green is 2yo son.

Please don’t assume that this played out line by line, if you can, try and imagine that both children are vying to be the loudest at all points in time, from the minute both are in their seats ready to go anywhere. Also, if we are going somewhere new, you can add in the sat nav for good measure!

Ready? Ok, then I’ll begin.

Deep breath everyone……

“Muuuuummy can you pass me my magazeeeeeeen? You said I could have it when we got in the car. Mummy? Muummy? Muuuuummmmmmy?’

“Mummy can you open my window please? More please. More. More”

“It doesn’t open any more then that sweetie, it’s a safety feature.”

“Why?”

“Mummmy muuuummy mmmmmmuuuuuummmmmmmmy, I dropped my magazine!”

“Haha I’ve still got mine”

“Muuummmy wah she still has hers and I dropped miiiiiiiine!”

“Want to look at mine?”

“Yes please.”

“Well you can’t! HA!”

“Waaaaaaaaah she’s being meeaaaan”

“Children please!” (Groping around in the back footwell frantically, trying to locate the magazine before the looming roundabout necessitates needing the vital arm for a gear change.)

“That way a bit, that way, that way!”

“Which way?!” I can’t look I’m driving, towards the door or away?”

“Just look in the mirror, I’m showing you.”

“I can’t look in the mirror, I’m driving”

“You can, just look,       look,         look,        look,        you’re not looking!”

“You can do it mummy!”

Magazine retrieved at last, peace reigns for, oooh, 10 seconds.

“My arm is cold, please close the window.”

“No, it’s my window and I want it open.”

“Closed”

“Open”

“Waaaaaaaah”

Half close the window, both in uproar at the grand unfairness of meeting halfway.

“I love this song it’s my favourite, turn it up mummy.”

“No, it’s too noisy.”

“Is not!”

“Is too”

“Is not”

“I’ve dropped my magazeeeeeen!!”

So it continues. It used to stop when they fell asleep but that is getting rarer and rarer. So if you see a mega stressed mum, frantically trying to drive safely whilst digging around in the archaeological dig of maps of farm parks, socks, coats for all seasons and a variety of damn magazines in the back footwells, spare a thought for her, because it may well be me!

I know for a fact I’m not alone here from chatting to friends so do feel free to share the horror of car journeys in your household!

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