Calling all grown ups!

Be honest, reading the title, did you immediately think I meant you or was there a slight hesitation, a modicum of doubt?

The reason I ask is that I’m still wondering when, if ever, I will feel like a grown up. When I was a teenager, I’d see woman of my age, and think that they were so sorted and that at some point, in your twenties maybe, something changed and you were magically transported into the world of the grown up where you felt totally different.

This is yet to happen! And I’m not alone. I have spoken to several friends and they feel the same, a sort of Peter Pan complex. Although outwardly, I’m responsible and can be pretty mature if needed, (people even trust me with their children!), inside, I still feel like a teenager most of the time. I’m quite happy getting down on the floor to play with my kids, I laugh at silly jokes, I snort when I laugh too much, which makes me laugh even harder and I still seem to repeat the same behaviour patterns of my teenage years, I stay up far too late and am tired and grumpy in the morning and don’t get me started on ‘just a few drinks’ on a night out!!! 😀

It leads me to wonder whether any of these women I used to believe were proper adults, felt the same. From what I’m starting to discover is that you always feel young inside, until something will shock you into realisation, like going on a night out and feeling ancient because everyone else is a child and the outfit you felt on fire hot in is, well, not fashionable in any way! Or looking too closely in the mirror and seeing how old your skin really looks, or get up from an evening watching tv and your hip hurts!

There are some women, however, who seem to have been given the magic key to this mysterious world. They just ooze adult-ness, you know they never loose the vital school letters, they’ve completed their christmas shopping in august, they know how to budget, and meal plan. They also run things. Voluntarily. In their spare time. Which they seem to have despite having lives busier then the prime minister.

It would be very easy to feel inadequete in comparison, I am generally regarded with slight amusement for my scattiness, my only form of meal planning is when I look in the fridge at four pm, I try my absolute hardest to avoid being in charge of anything, I’m not a big fan of organised things in general. I am however, quite a lot of fun. I may be permenantly late but I’m good fun when I do get there, especially if there is wine involved! And I suppose I am more ‘grown up’ then I realise in a lot of ways, I manage the accounts, run a business, I’ve kept two humans alive for five years and I even volunteer in school, and they trust me to run activities without any supervision!

So in conclusion, maybe I too give off the illusion of being a grown up to others, maybe every one of the woman I perceive to be ‘adultier’ then me, actually feels the same inside. I also wonder if I will ever pass over into this ‘land of the grown ups’ myself. As I currently have pink hair and wear tights like this…. IMG_6350

……I’m not sure it will be anytime soon!! 😀

I’d love to know what you think, does everyone feel young in their heads? How do you feel? And how do you think you are perceived by others?

fartglitter

 

 

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I’m a tantrum survivor. Sort of!

As I sat, white faced, close to tears, next to a pale, blotchy, hiccuping daughter, I tried to work out exactly why what just happened had happened. Believe it or not from that description, no major tragedy had befallen us, no near miss in the car, no death of a beloved pet, we still had all our limbs.

No, all that had happened was that we had just survived a tantrum, not just any tantrum though, not a bit of foot stamping or the lying on the floor wailing business that small boy is so fond of. No, this was a full on screaming, punching, kicking, flailing, sobbing, ‘you’ve ruined my life’ kind of a tantrum. (Yes she really said that, she is five, I have no idea where she got it from!!)

I’m aware that I’m sounding dramatic, and maybe we both have a flair for it, she certainly picked her stage well, a packed square in the centre of a popular Italian town on market day. (We had a crowd around us at one point!) However, I did feel completely drained, emotionally battered and physically shaken up in the aftermath, as if we had both weathered the sort of storm that you see on the news.

We have only had a few of these thank goodness, but each time I feel as though my soul has been slightly pummeled. I end up wondering if it was my fault, if I could have done anything differently, whether I am a bad mother.

There are certain things that I think trigger these monumental melt downs, tiredness being the main offender. I also think that sugar is a contributor, and if there has been a change in routine it doesn’t help and over indulgence and spoiling when on holiday or around birthday time is pretty fatal.

But it is impossible to work out which combination of these will result in the tantrum, if at all, because sometimes she is whacked out on sugar after an exhausting party and is the sweetest little girl.

I wish I had the answers as to how to deal with it. I have tried lots of tactics, the most recent being offering a no-strings-attached cuddle, and then sorting things out and getting the requisite apology when it has all calmed down.

Sometimes it is impossible to get through to her though, when she is so far into it, reaching out to her is just not an option, especially if she is angry and lashing out. This is fairly rare thank goodness, and getting much less frequent as she gets older and I learn how to read the warning signs.

During this last one, I kept calm, remarkably calm, I stayed firm and didn’t back down, I’d told her we were leaving the market due to her behaviour, after having given her several chances to turn it round and her continuing down the same line, and I was determined to follow through with it, even when she started screaming as if she were being kidnapped and the crowd gathered!

I am slightly ashamed to admit that I resorted to threatening to cancel her birthday party and even pretended to write a text to the bouncy castle man to tell him it wasn’t needed! (I know I know but it was a desperate measures situation and I was feeling totally out of my depth and at a bit of a loss.)

I got her away eventually, and managed to find a less public place to sit, she raged on for a bit more, until eventually the rage burned out and we were both left sitting there like tornado survivors.

After it had passed, she was the sweetest little girl again. It was hard to imagine her ever being like that. She is not coping fantastically well with the whole idea of school. She misses me when she is there and feels frustrated that she has to go and we do fun things without her. Which I can completely understand.

She is also exhausted, everything new, so much to do, so much to learn, and I am relieved to say that this was at half term and we haven’t had any incidents anywhere near this scale since, but I know that friends are struggling as well, and now I realise how many of us are experiencing this, it does make me feel better to know that I’m not alone, not that I would wish it on anyone else but it’s nice to know there are others out there who know what it’s like to cling to that emotional life raft in a sea of screaming!

Especially as all the mums I know that are also going through it are wonderful, kind, caring people, and it helps me to see that if we are all in the same boat, maybe it is just that some children are more sensitive to big life changes then others, can’t cope with tiredness as easily, find their emotions harder to understand and manage, and it isn’t the reflection on my parenting that I have been beating myself up about in the aftermath of these tantrum tornados. She is a lovely girl usually, she isn’t badly behaved as a rule, we are nowhere near applying for a spot on a ‘send in a nanny and film us all melting down’ type of tv program, generally she is sweet, polite, funny, helpful, just ever so occasionally, something overtakes her that she has no control over.

So if you are a mama and any of this rings a bell with you you, give yourself a hug from me because it’s hideous and horrible but these days will pass and I’m sure that one day we will be sipping wine and laughing uproariously about how embarrassing it all was.

Just not yet!!

Smiley crafty
Thankfully things are more like this between us…otherwise I wouldn’t want to get up in the morning! 😀

 

dragon

Things I have learnt about school so far.

1.The morning that you have everything laid out ready and perfectly prepared your children will wake up ridiculously early so you have far too many hours to fill whilst keeping the uniform spotless because changing routine to not get washed and into uniform the minute you get up will result in a total anarchy and confusion and resistance.

Then there will be tears.

Yours.

And you will be very nearly late.

2.The morning that you don’t set your alarm because your children are always up so early will be the morning they enjoy a lovely long lie in. This will also be the morning you discover that school child has taken her song book out to sing to her teddies, put her spelling book down ‘somewhere’ and has a whole list of places she thinks the bag itself may be, each place in a completely different part of the house to the one you are in.

You will end up very hot.

Will be near to tears.

And very nearly late.

3.If you are being ‘phased in’ as we are, you will suddenly find yourself with whole mornings to fill with a not too tiring activity that they will get really really into right before it’s nearly time to go and the then the ‘battle of the bottle greens’ commences. (Getting them into their uniform.)

You will end up being very stressed.

Probably near to tears

Oh, and very nearly late.

4.When you sit down, all peaceful and relaxed, maybe with a cup of tea for you and a snack for them to ask them what they did that day, they will have nothing to tell you. When you are on the phone to the tax man, whilst cooking dinner, with cbeebies blaring in the background, they will suddenly have lots and lots of information to volunteer. The other time they will want to talk in depth about what they have been up to is when you are trying to get them into their shoes and coat on the way out of the door.

You will end up very flustered.

Close to tears and…..

You guessed it, very nearly late!!

5.You will realise with a somewhat sinking feeling that this whole palaver is something you will have to repeat every single day. Oh, and discover that the old adage you’ve always heard really is true, the ones who live closest to the school really do end up being the latest!!

In conclusion, it has been a few weeks of tears, indoor and outdoor shouty mummy and some serious rushes through the school gates!

What I imagine we look like every single morning!

All (semi)-joking aside, it seems to be going very well once I get her there and she has learnt so much already. She looks so grown up rushing out of the doors when I pick her up.

That is hands down my favourite bit. When she is scanning the sea of parents anxiously and then the moment she spots me, the massive smile that lights her face up like sunshine and the way she runs into my arms, ponytail and book bag swinging totally melts my heart!

Here’s to many more sunshine smiles and hopefully a lot less tears in the coming weeks. I’m not sure I can bear to hear myself parrot repeat ‘You have to have your hair brushed’ one more time. It feels a bit like deja vu!! 😀

How is everyone else getting on with school? New starters settling in ok? School returners dealing with the routine again? I’d love to hear how much better it gets. (Crossing all my fingers and toes that it does!)

2d204-bestandworstlinky

Dear Mum-expecting-baby-number-two.

To my beautiful best friend,

There are a few things I really wanted you to know before your gorgeous new bundle arrives. Just in case it’s 2 in the morning, and you’re feeling those night time lonely blues, you have something written down to refer to, to know that I love you, I understand what you’re going going through and I’m here for you. Although possibly not at this very moment, it has taken almost 3 years to get both of mine to sleep all night and I’m making the most of it! 😉

1. You will feel constantly guilty. The Mother’s guilt will not just double but morph into something bigger then the pile of washing that will accumulate by the machine.

2. Your first born will probably eat far too many ready meals. This is ok though, it just means that if they refuse to eat something, you will feel less rage in comparison to if it’s a meal that you gave up a nap to make for them.

3. You will endure far more bad latching during night feeds then first time round, this is because, in a desperate attempt to stop the baby waking your bigger baby, you will just want to stop the screaming. This is partly out of concern for your biggie’s welfare and also because you sure as hell don’t want to deal with them both at 3am!

4. There will be more instances of your baby having up-the-back poo-plosions as you are walking out the door. How you deal with it depends on how urgently you need to be somewhere. You may change them in the door way, you may have to hose them off in the shower and stick them in the sling in just a nappy & snowsuit. One thing is for sure, you will not be doing anything that takes too long in case your first born gets bored & takes all their outdoor clothes off again.

5. Your baby will spend far more time in a sleepsuit. Not a fresh going out sleepsuit but the suit they actually slept in. On a good day you will sponge off the sick marks.

6. You will never know what to buy your second for birthdays or Christmas. It doesn’t matter though, your house will already look like a cross between hamleys and the crappy toy carousel in your local shop, ( thanks for all the plastic tat magazine companies!!), plus the youngest will only ever want to play with whatever your eldest is, especially fun if this contains unsuitable small parts.

7. Your baby will get part of their nutrition from things they find on the floor. First time round, you made sure the floors were always clean. Second time you consider it immune system building and only intervene if they are about to eat the dog or cat food. There are limits!

8. You will be amazed at all the stuff you really really don’t need. Your baby will spend far less time at any milestone then you remember with your first. Rather then a case of documenting every facial expression on camera, it will more of a, ‘when did they learn to roll over?!’ parenting experience. This may be after they fell off the bed. 😱

9. That one toy that used to buy you 10 minutes for a shower first time round and you’ve raved about to every new mother ever since? Your new baby will hate it.

10. You will forget your identity. When you finally emerge, blinking out of the new baby fog, (and you will!!), you will have no idea what music you like, what clothes are fashionable, which books you like, (anyway, you probably won’t have the concentration to read more then a paragraph before a vital, urgent job pops into your mind), or what it is like to leave the house alone/with just your other half/in the evening.

11. You will most likely eat way too many pringles, fish fingers and cake in the first months. (Ok years!) After the effort of purchasing and heating up your first born’s ready meal, all you will have the energy for is a snack from the cupboard, after polishing off the ready meal leftovers of course.

12. You will doubt yourself a lot. You will quickly realise you do actually clear space in your brain to retain important new things like the children’s tv channel numbers and where you hid your cake, and so you have forgotten most of the basic baby care essentials. Like ALWAYS packing several spare outfits and nappies. Even if you are just popping out for two minutes. If you forget, the severe puking incident on the shop counter with no muslins   handy will soon jog your memory.

13. Your new baby will have a huge percentage more second hand then your first. Especially clothing. For a start, you will now know far more people with children who are dying to have a clear out see their first born’s beautiful expensive baby clothes get some more wear. 😉  You will also not change their clothing half as much and so have no need for as much. See point 5.

After all, you don’t really go anywhere now. Forget about dinners out with everyone admiring your cute well behaved baby, now you will have rushed meals at generic family restaurants. It will be stressful and you will leave slightly unsure whether anyone actually enjoyed it. You will feel happy that you don’t have to cook tonight though! (Heating up a ready meal is technically cooking ok!)

14. Before the baby arrives you will probably have 2 main thoughts. What will happen with my eldest when I go into labour and will I have enough love for another when I love my big baby soooo much. Firstly, have a good plan in place to deal with labour, don’t forget you will have a fair bit of time huffing and puffing usually, it’s pretty rare to have those ten minute tv labours, although it does happen, and if it does to you, at least it will be over very quickly and your first won’t have time to really register what is going on.

As for the love, it is so true that your heart just expands to make room. It can take a while to adjust though, you may find yourself resentful of your first when you want some newborn staring time and they do not! A good friend told me this and it made me feel much less guilty when it happened with us. Swings and roundabouts though as you will soon find yourself irritated by a stroppy toddler when you are trying to do an activity with your precious big baby.

15. Time will fly. I mean seriously fast. It will whizz by like you wouldn’t believe. Soon you will have two children out of nappies, out of buggies, no more naps, and you will wonder where those years went.

This is where the real fun starts though. Life gets an awful lot easier. Unless you go for number 3 of course!! 😆

I will be here for you every step of the way. Despite everything, I wouldn’t for a minute change things, and I have two gorgeous children who I love to bits and who love each other. When they are not fighting like cat and dog of course! 😉 It has been the hardest job of my life but the reward is greater then any cash bonus, (not saying that it wouldn’t be nice though!), I’m so impatient to meet your new little darling, I am almost as excited as if it were my baby!

I can’t wait for newborn cuddles. I get all the fun bits now!!

All my love,

xxxxxxxxx

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babybrain

England is beautiful!

Not a very long post tonight, as I’m tired and short of words, but school settling is going wonderfully, and because of the odd hours, we got some special time with just us and big girl this morning.

We took her and Monty dog to a canal nearby that I’d never been to, and it just took my breath away! We had an amazing nature walk with foraged blackberry snacks along the way.

I managed to get some great shots.

   
    
    

Dew drops on a spider’s web. Amazing!
 
It was very useful that Mr Pear Bear could take an hour or so off to come with us, because everyone knows the best berries are up high!

  
The berries needed very thorough checking for insects though.

   
 
Then home to get little bro and get ready for school. I’m going to miss these little adventures when she starts full time. It’s not often we get to enjoy her company just us 3 now.

Selfie into the sun! Dodgy angling and squinty eyes! 😀

Losing my baby to school – Sisterhood Award post

A pretty fair depiction of me this last month I'd say!  Last school trips, leaver's parties, final shows. Sob!
A pretty fair depiction of me this last month I’d say! Last school trips, leaver’s parties, final shows. Sob!

So I’m just sitting, feeling a bit meh, (technical term), because my baby girl has her last day at preschool tomorrow and then, after what is feeling like an increasingly short summer holiday, she is off to school.

So excited and looking super cute but just looking at this makes me well up!
So excited and looking super cute but just looking at this makes me well up!

Oh don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely school, really lovely, and she is fairly excited and it’s very close by, but I just feel a huge sense of loss when I think about it. I really feel that when I watch her little uniformed figure disappear through those gates that a part of her will be lost to me forever. I am no longer in charge of what we do every day. I can’t decide to whisk them off on a midweek adventure day, just dropping an email or text to preschool explaining that she won’t be in.

Of course we will still have weekends and holidays but everywhere will be busier, noisier, with long queues for things. I feel this tremendous weight of all the things I wish I’d done with her while we still had the chance to go when it was quieter. It feels like an out of control juggernaut, time, steaming forward with me desperately trying to load it up with as many experiences as possible before it’s too late, hanging off the side with one arm, trying to encourage my reluctant children running alongside to keep up.

So I’ve decided to stop. I’m out of time now anyway. I don’t want a summer of stress and frantic attempts to enjoy ourselves while in reality, everyone will just end up miserable, hot and bothered. This summer is going to be….The Summer of Nothing,

There, it has a proper title now and so we will have to abide by it. This summer we will relax, have fun where we find it, take hours to go to the shop for an ice cream instead of chivvying them along everywhere, have water fights in the garden, pick blackberries, (they are ripe already, this isn’t right surely?!), see family, see friends and just take each day as it comes.

Life moves by so quickly, time ebbing away in a flurry of playdates and trips, mundane things like doing the washing and going to the supermarket, that I don’t want to waste any more of it. The amount of times we have planned a trip somewhere, teeth set on edge before we even make it out of the door thanks to dawdling, reluctance to move, lost shoes. Then far too long of the obligatory in car arguments over music choice, who is going to get out first etc etc. We have had tons of days out that were wonderful of course, but really, some of our very best days have been spent on a blanket in a field, playing Pooh sticks and eating squashed sandwiches.

Nature Walks. Cheaper then Legoland & just as fun.....surely?!
Nature Walks. Cheaper then Legoland & just as fun…..surely?!

Instead of flitting about trying to do everything, I want to just chill the hell out, stop trying to be a tour guide, standing up front, waving my umbrella about in the air while my children flop about and moan at the back, overtired and grumpy, looking for every opportunity to escape out of a side door into the sunshine, and just do Nothing. Oh, and take a lot of naps! Naps are good. 🙂

I googled for images of tour guides and then bored tourists and this gem popped up. I think it's probably very similar to how we look as a family at the end of a day out somewhere!! :D
I googled for images of tour guides and then bored tourists and this gem popped up. I think it’s probably very similar to how we look as a family at the end of a day out somewhere!! 😀

(This post was written in the aftermath of the ‘celebratory kiddy dinner with a few friends’ that graduated into a leaving party of around 30 kids and their mums! Amazing fun but I’m super tired and on a sugar and e-number crash down today! Let it also be noted that everyone brought something along and as a testament to their fabulousness, around 90% of it was sugar based! :D)

Luckily I'll still have the  Whirling Wonder Boy to keep my mind off it. Dread to think what I'll be like when it's his turn!!
Luckily I’ll still have the Whirling Wonder Boy to keep my mind off it. Dread to think what I’ll be like when it’s his turn!!

     

Luckily I remembered that the lovely Claire from Art and Soul had nominated me for this Sisterhood award and it inspired me to write the above post, so thank you for snapping me out of my funk and making me smile again!

Now I have cleared my mind of the serious bit, I can set to work answering her questions and coming up with a few of my own, yay!

1. When was the last time you wrote something with pen and paper? What was it?

I filled in a transition form for my daughter’s preschool this morn, hence the reason it’s all on my mind I think. I then forgot to actually take it in with my, but hey ho, we got half way I guess!! 😀

2. Have you read a book more than once? What was it?

Oh heaps! I read Mallory Towers so many times when I was younger that it genuinely fell apart, I don’t think reading it in the bath helped either, water and paper don’t mix very well. I do blame this book for the misguided idea it gave me of what boarding school would be like. It was NOTHING like it. I was very disappointed for a long time!

3. What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Ooh, tough one! I love seeing the things that I think written down, I like the sense of satisfaction I get from creating sentences that flow nicely. I’d forgotten how much I love words and language. I wrote all the time when I was younger but recently I let it slide and I get a real thrill now that I’ve rediscovered it, especially seeing that other people enjoy my posts enough to take time to comment on them, that has to be the biggest high.

4. What’s the funniest video you’ve ever seen on the internet? If you can remember and find it, please include the link!

No question, hands down the bacon dog. This makes me cry laughing no matter how many times I’ve seen it. I remember when it was withdrawn due to copyright or something and the sense of loss I felt when it wouldn’t play. Also the happiness when it reappeared. Whoop!

I would like to nominate a few bloggers who I’ve really enjoyed reading posts by and chatting with.

Doodle Mum because her illustrations always make me smile.

Phoenix over at Struggling to Thrive

Silence Killed the Dinosaurs

The questions. I’m going to do 4 as well.

1. If you ever got a tattoo, what would you get and where?

2. What is the one hairstyle you’ve always wanted but never dared try?

3. Do you have a dog?

4. Which country would you visit first if you came into some money?

Thanks again for the nomination Claire and I can’t wait to see your answers nominees! 🙂

To accept the award, you have to:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.

2. Copy the award badge and display it in your award post.

3. Answer the questions the blogger who nominated you asked.

4. Nominate other bloggers and set them some new questions to answer (I believe it’s supposed to be 10 bloggers and 10 questions, but you’ll see I’ve reduced this a bit! If my nominees want to go ahead and use 10 that’s great).

Why I envy my children.

This is a totally materialistic post. I envy them for….their clothes!! Seriously, I am genuinely gutted that the clothes in the children’s range don’t go up to my size.

Here are a few reasons why;

1. Elasticated waistbands.

Self explanatory. Also the handy elastic and button system. Save having to change my whole wardrobe every time I change shape. (Read: pay for my cake addiction!)

2. Funky leggings.

I am SO jealous about this. Have you seen the little girl’s selection of leggings in h&m alone? It’s like a kaleidoscope of colours and patterns. Downstairs in ladies? There are black. Maybe brown if you’re feeling really wild.

3. The dresses.

Ok I know that you can get some pretty amazing dresses for women too but I just bought her a dress that was covered in wild flowers and bees for £2.99!! There are also matching shorts.

4. Dinosaur trainers.

Trainers, covered in dinosaurs. For around a tenner. I’m sure someone somewhere makes grown up dinosaur print trainers but they would probably be about £50 min.

5. T-shirts with capes attached.

Actual capes. How much fun?!

6. Everything is glittery. Everything.

7. You can get a hat with cat ears built in. Actual cat’s ears on a pink straw hat. And a teeny heart nose.

8. You can also go out in fancy dress whenever you like. Not that I want to go out on a scooter on a dinosaur onesie or anything. Because that would be weird. Wouldn’t it?

Here are just a few examples of why I am so envious. Maybe I am shopping in the wrong places, if anyone has any suggestions of shops/websites that I can check out, please tell me so I can funk up my leggings collection……..and totally embarrass my husband! Mwah haha! 😉

skirt leggings shoes

Being kind-for everyone but especially the Mamas!

How many times do we say things relating to kindness in a day? Be kind to your brother, be kind to the dog, be nice to your friends, ask me nicely please, don’t say horrible things about each other.

Ever said it when thinking negatively about yourself?

A conversation I had recently got me thinking about this. I think that people, woman especially, (but not exclusively!), and particularly mothers, can be guilty of going all out for other people. Recognizing a friend is stressed and offering to have her child for an afternoon, spotting a card that you know will make your best friend smile and getting round to writing, stamping and posting it, (no mean feat some days!), driving for hours to visit someone you care about because you know they are sad, doing everything in your human power to make sure that your children have everything they need, and lots of things they don’t!

When it comes to myself though, I agonize about treating myself. Not just to material things, but also to time. Although all jobs deserve breaks, and most of them don’t have the hours parenting do, I feel so guilty at the thought of sitting in the garden with a book or putting my feet up to watch a program I love, that I will set myself tasks to complete first, often resulting in the missing of that precious, vital nap time altogether. If I do watch tv, it is with a basket of washing to fold.

Why though? If my little children look tired, I make sure they stop and rest. If my husband comes home weary, I’m the first to put the kettle on, to make him a cup of tea, sit down, relax, I’ll make it. Yet I won’t do that for myself. I’ve been tired to the point of crawling up to bed before and yet I have tried to do just one more job before my head hits the pillow.

I see a lovely top that I like but I hesitate. I revisit the shop several times, I look online to see if I can get it cheaper, and we’re not talking Dolce and Gabbana here!! If I do buy it, I will have a feeling of guilt hanging over me that will take the shine off my new purchase.

We need to be kinder to ourselves. Have you ever thought, I’m a terrible mum, I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m lazy, my house is a mess, everyone else seems to have it together – where am I going wrong? If your husband said these things to you, or your child, what would your instantaneous reaction be? To reassure, to offer comfort, to tell them not to be so hard on themselves, to tell them all the things that they are brilliant at.

We need to do this for ourselves more often.

One bad day does not a bad mother make. A day of shouting, a forgotten p.e. kit, no milk for breakfast does not make you a failure. It makes you human and we all have off days. Or weeks. Or even months, it’s ok.

And yes, you do deserve that half hour of sunshine in the garden, even if you do nothing but close your eyes and listen to the bees. You should take your friend up on their offer of a few hours babysitting. And you most definitely should buy that top and wear it out with a spring in your step and a big smile.

Caring for yourself makes you better at caring for others, so really it’s win win for everyone.

Be kind today, to someone really fabulous. You!