Losing my baby to school – Sisterhood Award post

A pretty fair depiction of me this last month I'd say!  Last school trips, leaver's parties, final shows. Sob!
A pretty fair depiction of me this last month I’d say! Last school trips, leaver’s parties, final shows. Sob!

So I’m just sitting, feeling a bit meh, (technical term), because my baby girl has her last day at preschool tomorrow and then, after what is feeling like an increasingly short summer holiday, she is off to school.

So excited and looking super cute but just looking at this makes me well up!
So excited and looking super cute but just looking at this makes me well up!

Oh don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely school, really lovely, and she is fairly excited and it’s very close by, but I just feel a huge sense of loss when I think about it. I really feel that when I watch her little uniformed figure disappear through those gates that a part of her will be lost to me forever. I am no longer in charge of what we do every day. I can’t decide to whisk them off on a midweek adventure day, just dropping an email or text to preschool explaining that she won’t be in.

Of course we will still have weekends and holidays but everywhere will be busier, noisier, with long queues for things. I feel this tremendous weight of all the things I wish I’d done with her while we still had the chance to go when it was quieter. It feels like an out of control juggernaut, time, steaming forward with me desperately trying to load it up with as many experiences as possible before it’s too late, hanging off the side with one arm, trying to encourage my reluctant children running alongside to keep up.

So I’ve decided to stop. I’m out of time now anyway. I don’t want a summer of stress and frantic attempts to enjoy ourselves while in reality, everyone will just end up miserable, hot and bothered. This summer is going to be….The Summer of Nothing,

There, it has a proper title now and so we will have to abide by it. This summer we will relax, have fun where we find it, take hours to go to the shop for an ice cream instead of chivvying them along everywhere, have water fights in the garden, pick blackberries, (they are ripe already, this isn’t right surely?!), see family, see friends and just take each day as it comes.

Life moves by so quickly, time ebbing away in a flurry of playdates and trips, mundane things like doing the washing and going to the supermarket, that I don’t want to waste any more of it. The amount of times we have planned a trip somewhere, teeth set on edge before we even make it out of the door thanks to dawdling, reluctance to move, lost shoes. Then far too long of the obligatory in car arguments over music choice, who is going to get out first etc etc. We have had tons of days out that were wonderful of course, but really, some of our very best days have been spent on a blanket in a field, playing Pooh sticks and eating squashed sandwiches.

Nature Walks. Cheaper then Legoland & just as fun.....surely?!
Nature Walks. Cheaper then Legoland & just as fun…..surely?!

Instead of flitting about trying to do everything, I want to just chill the hell out, stop trying to be a tour guide, standing up front, waving my umbrella about in the air while my children flop about and moan at the back, overtired and grumpy, looking for every opportunity to escape out of a side door into the sunshine, and just do Nothing. Oh, and take a lot of naps! Naps are good. 🙂

I googled for images of tour guides and then bored tourists and this gem popped up. I think it's probably very similar to how we look as a family at the end of a day out somewhere!! :D
I googled for images of tour guides and then bored tourists and this gem popped up. I think it’s probably very similar to how we look as a family at the end of a day out somewhere!! 😀

(This post was written in the aftermath of the ‘celebratory kiddy dinner with a few friends’ that graduated into a leaving party of around 30 kids and their mums! Amazing fun but I’m super tired and on a sugar and e-number crash down today! Let it also be noted that everyone brought something along and as a testament to their fabulousness, around 90% of it was sugar based! :D)

Luckily I'll still have the  Whirling Wonder Boy to keep my mind off it. Dread to think what I'll be like when it's his turn!!
Luckily I’ll still have the Whirling Wonder Boy to keep my mind off it. Dread to think what I’ll be like when it’s his turn!!

     

Luckily I remembered that the lovely Claire from Art and Soul had nominated me for this Sisterhood award and it inspired me to write the above post, so thank you for snapping me out of my funk and making me smile again!

Now I have cleared my mind of the serious bit, I can set to work answering her questions and coming up with a few of my own, yay!

1. When was the last time you wrote something with pen and paper? What was it?

I filled in a transition form for my daughter’s preschool this morn, hence the reason it’s all on my mind I think. I then forgot to actually take it in with my, but hey ho, we got half way I guess!! 😀

2. Have you read a book more than once? What was it?

Oh heaps! I read Mallory Towers so many times when I was younger that it genuinely fell apart, I don’t think reading it in the bath helped either, water and paper don’t mix very well. I do blame this book for the misguided idea it gave me of what boarding school would be like. It was NOTHING like it. I was very disappointed for a long time!

3. What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Ooh, tough one! I love seeing the things that I think written down, I like the sense of satisfaction I get from creating sentences that flow nicely. I’d forgotten how much I love words and language. I wrote all the time when I was younger but recently I let it slide and I get a real thrill now that I’ve rediscovered it, especially seeing that other people enjoy my posts enough to take time to comment on them, that has to be the biggest high.

4. What’s the funniest video you’ve ever seen on the internet? If you can remember and find it, please include the link!

No question, hands down the bacon dog. This makes me cry laughing no matter how many times I’ve seen it. I remember when it was withdrawn due to copyright or something and the sense of loss I felt when it wouldn’t play. Also the happiness when it reappeared. Whoop!

I would like to nominate a few bloggers who I’ve really enjoyed reading posts by and chatting with.

Doodle Mum because her illustrations always make me smile.

Phoenix over at Struggling to Thrive

Silence Killed the Dinosaurs

The questions. I’m going to do 4 as well.

1. If you ever got a tattoo, what would you get and where?

2. What is the one hairstyle you’ve always wanted but never dared try?

3. Do you have a dog?

4. Which country would you visit first if you came into some money?

Thanks again for the nomination Claire and I can’t wait to see your answers nominees! 🙂

To accept the award, you have to:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.

2. Copy the award badge and display it in your award post.

3. Answer the questions the blogger who nominated you asked.

4. Nominate other bloggers and set them some new questions to answer (I believe it’s supposed to be 10 bloggers and 10 questions, but you’ll see I’ve reduced this a bit! If my nominees want to go ahead and use 10 that’s great).

8 thoughts on “Losing my baby to school – Sisterhood Award post

      • Yeah … this is just how I am with internet activity. Sporadic. It’s partially the cfs; I’ve just had a somewhat-worse-than-usual week and have been living on my couch (not my computer desk). But I can’t even entirely blame that. I get antsy if I feel like I have to constantly check back for comments and updates, and I feel better when I allow myself a little distance. I tend to catch up on blog reading in big chunks.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think it is so important to give yourself a break from the internet. It is so easy to get sucked in and neglect the real world around you. Sometimes it’s nice just to watch tv without phone in hand. My attention is always so split. Good job I’m pretty adept at multi tasking! Sorry you’ve not been 100% recently. I can imagine how draining it is. I suffered from severe anaemia not so long ago and all I wanted to do was sleep, the urge to just lie down where I stood and close my eyes was often overwhelming!!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s